Remember children pick up on our anxieties, so try and be relaxed about this new phase. Talk to them before they start and listen to and try to address any worries or concerns they may have. Also it is important to make time each day to have a chat about how their day went and you can fill them in on your day too.

Many secondary schools will assign your child a ‘buddy’ from an older class to help them get settled in. Remind them that everyone is in the same boat starting off, the school and the routine will be new to all the 1st year pupils regardless of whether they attended the feeder primary school or not.

Preparation is key to help your child with the transition from primary to secondary school. Try and have all the books from the book list on day one. And if your child’s school has a uniform, be sure they have everything they need for the first day too. They will be more relaxed knowing they are all prepared and ready to go.

Label everything! I am talking from experience, they will lose at least one item of their uniform each term or end up with someone else’s jumper/lunchbox/jacket/text book etc.

My other top tip when it comes to the uniform is to double up on the pants/skirt/jumper/t-shirts/socks if you can afford to. If items go missing or get damaged, it can be difficult to get replacements during the year. When my girls were still growing, I bought the next size up as my double up extras. That way, if I didn’t need them during that year, I had them ready for the next year.

A good sleep routine is vital for your child to be alert and actively learning each day. The school day is a big step up from what they are used to, not to mention the time needed for homework and study, including at the weekends.

They need some downtime to unwind before bed. Whether they enjoy reading, having a bath or watching a favourite TV program, they need to take the time to relax so they can get to sleep quickly. Children and teens of this age need at least 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Needless to say, devices should be off for at least 30 minutes (and ideally an hour) before they intend to sleep.

A good breakfast will provide them with the energy they need to face the day ahead. Low sugar, wholegrains, fruit and protein-packed breakfasts are best.

Lunch will also be different in secondary school. Your child may have access to a canteen and they will often be allowed to leave school during their lunch break giving them access to other shops or cafés where they can buy lunch.

For those that want to bring their lunch to school, a good lunch box and water bottle are essential. And check out these flasks which will keep soup, pasta or other healthy meals warm until lunch break.

If they go straight to study, pack a snack to have between school finishing and study beginning. And once they get home, sit together to eat so you can all catch up on how everyone’s day went.

The one thing I really wasn’t prepared for when my girls went into secondary school was the weight of their school bags. It is essential they get a sturdy bag that fits well and helps distribute the weight evenly.

If the school offers lockers, sign up for one. It will save them having to carry all their books to and from school each day. Remember to label each book. My girls usually pick a page within each book to write their name on. They use the same page number for all their books! That way if they go missing they can usually track them down.

Most children will receive homework in several subjects each night, so they will need to bring books home for this. A friend suggested that I buy a 2nd copy of some of the heavier text books, even a second hand copy, so they could have those at home and leave the other copy in school. We did it for a couple of subjects they regularly get homework in.

Another top tip is to place all the books and copies needed for a subject in a zipped wallet. That way they just reach into their locker or bag and they have everything together for that subject. Often there is not much time between going from one class to another, so being able to grab and go saves them searching around in bags and lockers for the relevant items.

For parents, the cost of the first year books can be daunting, but remember, in most cases those books will last until 3rd year and the booklist for 2nd and 3rd year is usually much reduced both in cost and items needed. Buy school books early to avail of discounts and to ensure stock as popular text books can be difficult to get as back to school time approaches.

Your child will need a dedicated place to study at home, preferably one without distractions! Stock up on stationery for school and home. From pens, pencils and highlighters to refill pads and notebooks, having everything at hand helps them get straight into work.

To make this space even better, get your child to help you design it by choosing a desk, chair and other items to personalise it.

Friends will play a much larger role in your teen’s life as they transition through secondary school and it can be a daunting prospect for them starting off, particularly if they aren’t attending secondary with their friends from primary. And although they may not realise it yet, the friends they make during this time will often be friends for life, so they need to choose wisely.

Every school has clubs, after school activities and groups that children can get involved in. They range from sports teams to debating, drama and much more. Encourage your child to sign up to some of these as it is a great way to meet like minded individuals and make new friends – and also a great opportunity to try something new that they may have an interest in.

The school website or app helps keep you up-to-date with school activities, holidays and other events. You can also view school policies, download forms for when your child may be absent, etc. Many schools also offer an online payment facility for things like insurance, school trips, etc.

In primary school the children would have received notes about days off and staff meetings well in advance, but that is not always the case in secondary school. Your child may know about upcoming staff meeting or days off or early finishes, but they don’t always remember to tell you! The school website or app is the place to go for all this information.

This is a new phase for all of you that will take a bit of time to get used to. From juggling deadlines and learning how to study to having more freedom and having to be more responsible and independent, there will be an adjustment period for you and your child.

Be sure they know that you are there to support them and hopefully it will all go smoothly.

When asked about your influence on your children around alcohol you told us – “I completely believe as a parent I have a huge part to play in the perception of alcohol in my daughter’s life.”

“The influence we have as parents, I believe, is more to do with our own attitudes towards alcohol and how we model this in front of our children.”

This is backed up by research which shows that Parents and Family members have the single strongest influence of all external factors on young people’s attitudes towards drinking. (1) This was also identified by young people themselves , (2) where they identified parents as being the main source of information on alcohol.

It is important as a parent that you recognise the influence you have.

Parental self-efficacy is belief in your ability to make a difference in your child’s attitudes, beliefs, behaviour and overall well-being and healthy functioning.

If you don’t believe you have a strong influence this will come through in your actions and behaviour around your young person. By believing friends and others have more of an influence on your young person, you are handing your power away.

However, the strength of your influence depends on the type of relationship you have with your young person. The impact of your relationship with your child lasts a lifetime and influences a young person’s self-esteem, resilience and decisions.

By creating a supportive and nurturing relationship, you will enable young people to make healthy decisions in a world where alcohol is freely available. It will mean your child will turn to you for guidance and support when needed.

Parenting is never easy and there is no such thing as the perfect child or perfect parent.

Adolescence can be a particularly challenging stage of development for both you and your young person. It is a time of immense and confusing changes when fitting in becomes very important.

As young people try to find their place in the world, they look to friends for acceptance and want to be independent of you, their parents, while being under the control of or being led by their friends. A young person who does not feel a sense of belonging may succumb to friends’ requests to fit in, including experimenting with alcohol.

Maintaining a strong, loving, nurturing and open relationship with young people during adolescence will enable them to feel secure and stand on their own two feet without the need for alcohol.

As one parent commented: “You need to bring your children up to think for themselves and make their own decisions. They will of course make mistakes, but you need to be there for them.”

By your attitudes to, beliefs about and behaviour around alcohol, you can be an enabler of underage drinking or a protector from underage drinking.

You are a role model for your child around alcohol and have a unique opportunity to help them develop healthy attitudes towards alcohol use. The example you set around alcohol, the home rules you establish and behaviours you allow are important.

The research found that the majority of parents believe they are responsible in influencing their child’s attitude to and behaviour around alcohol. Comments included:

“Behaviour is learned- what they see parents doing is normalised. Children will copy their parents’ behaviour if not consciously, then unconsciously.”

“Yes, I think parents have a huge influence, as young children especially would observe their parents’ attitudes and use of alcohol and so most often would be a child’s example to form a child’s first opinions around alcohol use.”

Alcohol is often the first substance used by young people with the average age of consumption in Ireland being 15.5 years. (3)

• The earlier young people start to drink the greater the possibility of harm including damage to the brain and to mental, emotional and physical health.
• Young people who drink before or at 15 years old are four times more likely to develop alcohol-related problems later in life. (4)

It is important that you have conversations with young people about alcohol which can help protect your child from future alcohol harm.

• Without the conversations, young people may see no harm in starting to drink underage. As one parent commented; “I would really love kids to know that alcohol doesn’t make you cool.”
• By not talking about alcohol to young people, you may give the message that alcohol use is ok.
• Disapproval of underage drinking needs to be clearly and consistently conveyed to your teen and matched with positive role modelling.
• It is important that you monitor your teen’s behaviour and who they are with. “As parents, we have to keep a close eye on who they are with and where they are.”
• You shouldn’t assume that young people know all about alcohol or that they and their friends are all drinking or will drink or that they won’t listen to you.

Assumptions distort our perception of reality and impact the decisions we make. Assumptions can stop you having the conversation or underestimate the impact of having conversations with young people about alcohol.

In our findings, 80% of parents said they had a conversation with their child about alcohol. They talked about “How alcohol makes you feel when you drink it and how you feel after.” “Knowing the limits of your own body. Effects it has on behaviour.”  And “… why one should never drink and drive and the responsibilities that come with consuming alcohol.”

Parents thought the following should be discussed in conversations with young people:

• The effects of alcohol on the body
• The legal age to drink
• Healthy and unhealthy attitudes towards alcohol
• Peer pressure and alcohol
• Consent and alcohol
• Dispelling myths
• How it can affect others, not just the drinker
• How the body processes alcohol
• The law re drinking and driving
• Losing control/inhibitions

Parents were interested in finding out when and how to have the conversation with their children about alcohol. It is never too early or too late to start the conversation.

By talking to them at an early age you have a greater chance of influencing their decisions. You should tailor answers to their age and experience.

By having ongoing conversations with your child and role-modelling healthy behaviour, you are reducing the risks of harmful drinking now and later in life and giving your child the chance to develop resilience, cope with hurt and disappointment and celebrate achievements without the need for alcohol.

• Don’t make a big deal about the chat as it should be ongoing and happen when having a meal or when watching tv etc
• Don’t wait until your children are teens to have the conversation
• Encourage conversation with listening as well as talking
• Talk directly and answer questions honestly
• Find out what they know already
• Set clear expectations and explain clearly what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour around alcohol
• Explain the rules in place and negotiate consequences
• Chat about what their friends are doing and don’t criticise them but do criticise unacceptable behaviour
• Explain the risks and law regarding underage drinking
• Chat about healthy ways to deal with stress, coping, disappointment
• Practice refusal conversations with your child
• Respect your child’s growing independence
• Revisit the topic regularly

Alcohol should have no place in childhood and Drinkaware passionately believes that parents need to be supported with information, advice and tips for how to communicate and role model positive behaviours towards alcohol.

Drinkaware recently launched the ‘Talking Matters’ parent’s booklet which covers:

• How and when to talk to your child about alcohol,
• The risks of underage alcohol use,
• The importance of building resilience in young people,
• How you might respond to certain questions,
• The importance of prevention
• The law and alcohol in Ireland.

Order your copy 

To accompany the newly launched resource, Drinkaware will be facilitating workshops across the country for parents and webinars for online attendance, providing a safe and supportive space for parents to help the young people in their life remain alcohol-free.

For more information regarding workshops and webinars to support parents in having this conversation with the young person in their life email: martha@drinkaware.ie.

References: 

(1) Cairns, G., Purves, R., Bryce, S., McKell, J., Gordon, R. & Angus, K. (2011). Investigating the Effectiveness of Education in Relation to Alcohol: A Systematic Investigation of Critical Elements for Optimum Effectiveness of Promising Approaches and Delivery Methods in School and Family Linked Alcohol Education Alcohol Insight, 83.
(2) Behaviour & Attitudes (2016). Alcohol Education. Is it meeting the Needs of Junior Certificate Students? Dublin: Report Commissioned by Drinkaware.
(3) The Drinkaware Index (2019): Analysing Hazardous Drinking in Ireland. Dublin, Drinkaware
(4) Grant et al (1997) cited in Mongan et al (2007) Health Related Consequences of Problem Alcohol Use. Overview 6. Dublin. Health Research Board

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Your child or teen may feel like you are being a ‘mean’ parent or that you just want to snoop on them, but setting up parental controls is extremely important. Not only can it help to protect your child from cyberbullying or explicit content, but it can also prevent expensive mistakes like in-app purchases.

In short, parent controls are peace of mind. I once heard someone liken it to teaching your child how to cross the road. First, you teach them to walk and they cross the road holding your hand; you repeat the safety rules to them each time about looking both ways and crossing at the lights, but you don’t just send them on their way to navigate the traffic themselves. You cross the road with them time and again until you are both sure that the safety message has sunk in and that the risk has been reduced.

Parent controls on your child’s phone or devices are the hand-holding that’s needed as they navigate their online space, as they create boundaries in this ‘always on’ world, and as they learn the implications of circumstances none of us parents had to deal with as children. Phishing, scamming, sexting, cyberbullying, log ins, passwords, keeping their details secure…it’s a veritable minefield.

So, what can you do? Your child or teen will make mistakes with their online interactions – that’s hard to avoid – but setting boundaries and limits from day one with parental controls will help to better prepare you and them. Digital tools like Qustodio will help to easily manage your concerns, or you can use the in-built device settings to set screen time limits, filter explicit language and content, block certain websites and more.

Our children are experiencing life online as the first fully digital generation – they don’t remember a time without access to the internet at the tip of their fingers. And new research from Qustodio shows that 19% of 8-year-olds have their own smartphone, jumping to 69% of 12-year-olds and 91% of 18-year-olds.

This time online can open our kids and teens to a wealth of wonderful knowledge and experience, but unfortunately also to more risk and health side effects. Headline figures from Qustodio’s research include:

• 50% of online exploitation victims are between 12 and 15 years of age
• 50% of kids admit to being addicted to their smartphones
• 42% of kids have seen porn online
• 33% of kids have experienced cyberbullying
• 73% of high school students don’t get enough sleep
• 63% of children who have more than 2 hours of daily screen time show lower academic performance than those who spend less time online

For parents, these figures are terrifying and it can feel as if you are facing an uphill battle to retain any kind of control in the situation. But tools and resources, like Qustodio, offer a whole host of parental controls that are easy to navigate and monitor from a real-time dashboard. Qustodio’s features allow you to set consistent time limits on your child’s devices, track calls and SMS, see your child’s location, block apps that are not appropriate, filter browser results and block adult websites, monitor YouTube viewing and social posts, and set downtimes before bed.

In addition, a series of advice articles help you talk to your children about how to spot and avoid data thieves, groomers, sexual predators, and stalkers.

With Family Sharing, up to six family members can share an iCloud+ subscription, apps, books, music and more, all while having different Apple IDs. You can set up an Apple ID for kids, set permissions remotely with Screen Time, and approve spending and downloads from a parent’s device with Ask to Buy.

When you share iCloud+, family members can’t see each others’ photos, files or documents. And when you share other subscriptions, such as Apple Music or Apple TV+, each person will see their own preferences and recommendations – not the whole family’s.

If you want to see and approve what your child downloads, set up Ask to Buy. Then, when they ask to buy apps, films or other content, an alert is sent to you to approve or decline it directly from your own device.

This feature is useful for many reasons – you can be ‘in the know’ as to the apps your child is looking to get, you can start a conversation about why some or all of those apps are being requested, you can decline apps you feel are not appropriate, and you can have a better idea of which apps need a time limit set.

Is your child spending too much time on social media, or on a game? Is their mood affected or their homework suffering? With Screen Time, you can keep an eye on how much time your kids are spending on apps, visiting websites and on their devices overall. Review your children’s activity reports and set time limits for specific apps.

One of the many additional benefits of the Content & Privacy Restrictions in Screen Time is that you can limit your child’s ability to install or delete apps and disable in-app purchases.

You can also:

• Disable built-in features (e.g. Mail, Siri or AirDrop)
• Automatically filter website content to limit access to adult content in Safari and other apps
• Prevent explicit content and set content ratings. This will limit music with explicit content and movies, TV shows or apps with specific ratings.
• Restrict Siri functions to prevent Siri from searching the web when you ask a question or to prevent Siri from displaying explicit language
• Restrict Game Centre features such as multiplayer games, adding friends, or private messaging
• Allow changes to privacy settings (e.g. allowing an app access to your camera or microphone)

Google Family Link is about guiding your child or teen to good content and make better decision about how they spend their online time – whether that is helping them manage their apps by approving or blocking app requests from their device or using the activity reports to see how much time they’re spending on different apps and websites.

Screen time limits allow you to set the amount you feel is right for your child, as well as a ‘bedtime’ setting. Whether it’s time to go and play outside, have dinner, or have screen-free time, you can also remotely lock your child’s device.

Being able to check in on your child when they’re on the go is reassuring for parents, so the location feature is useful. There is also the option to manage in-app purchases and get teacher-recommended apps your child might like.

Excessive screen time and an increasing need for balance in our busy lives means that digital wellbeing – alongside physical, emotional and mental wellbeing – is something we should all become familiar with.

The earlier we can instil this in our children’s lives, the better so these tips from Qustodio are a useful place to start and apply to all ages:

1. Turn off all screens (including TVs) at least an hour before bedtime to improve sleep quality. Fill that hour with a ‘wind down’ activity like taking a bath, reading, listening to music, etc.
2. Set consistent screen time limits that are appropriate for your child.
3. Take a break after 45 minutes of screen time. Sitting and looking at a screen for hours on end is not great for any of us, so get up and walk around, go outside, have a stretch and take a few minutes to recharge yourself.
4. Keep phones off the dinner table and away from family time. Enjoy the moment, make eye contact, and spend some real world time together.

‘Coming out’ is when someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans or non-binary tells another person about their identity. We usually think that coming out is something that happens at one point in an LGBTQ+ person’s life.

However, coming out is something that happens more than once over months or years. At first, many LGBTQ+ people choose to tell a small number of people who they trust about their identity. These people might be a best friend, parent, close family member, or trusted teacher.

Once an LGBTQ+ person has received the support they need, and feels comfortable being open about their identity, they might decide to tell more people in their family, their school or workplace, or more of their friends.

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The first thing to remember is that your child or teen has probably spent a lot of time thinking about their sexual orientation or gender identity, and about how to come out to you. They have opened up to you because they trust you, and want you to support them. Now it’s over to you to handle this situation in the best way that you can.

Your first reaction might be to feel shocked or upset. You might feel like it’s not a big deal, or that you already knew. It’s important to take a moment to think about what you say and how this might impact your child or teen’s emotions.

Even if you’re not sure how you feel, it’s important to say something supportive to your child or teen. This way, they will feel more comfortable talking to you about their identity in the future. You can tell your child or teen that you love them no matter what, and that you are proud of them. You can also ask how they’re feeling, what they need at this time, and if they have friends they can also talk to about their identity.

Remember that being LGBTQ+ is not a ‘lifestyle choice’. Your child or teen’s sexual orientation or gender identity is part of them. They are the same person, you have just learned something new about a big part of who they are.

Nothing you did, or didn’t do, made your child LGBTQ+. You can’t change how someone identifies, but you can support them and help them to be as happy and safe as possible.

Even if you feel this way, you should try not to tell your child or teen that you think they’re going through a phase, that they’re too young to know, or that you are disappointed in them. You should also try to avoid questions that might be hurtful for your child or teen, such as “Why did you need to tell me?”, “What did I do wrong”, or “What will people think?”. Even jokes that are well-meaning, like “So I won’t have grandchildren” or “What took you so long to know?”, can be upsetting for someone who has taken the brave step of coming out to you.

If someone comes out to you, remember that they decided to open up to you because they trust you. You should always ask your child or teen if it is ok to tell other people about their sexual orientation or gender identity, and respect their decision if they say no. They will come to you when they are ready to tell more people, or when they are comfortable with you telling others.

You may think that your child or teen is LGBTQ+, or is questioning their gender identity or sexual orientation. It’s natural to want to ask them directly about their identity. However, some children might feel scared or upset if you raise the suggestion that they are LGBTQ+. It is also important not to put someone under pressure to come out before they are ready.

Approaching the subject indirectly can be a good way to start. You could begin by talking positively to your child or teen about an LGBTQ+ celebrity, or a friend or family member who is out. This is a good way to show that you are accepting. Emphasise that you want your child to be happy and secure, and that you will always love and support them no matter what.

If you can show that you are at ease with your child talking about sexuality, and that you are open to and aware about LGBTQ+ identities, then your child may be more likely to talk to you about how they are feeling when they are ready.

LGBTQ+ terminology can feel like a minefield when you have no previous knowledge, and terms change over time. Here is a list of common words to get you started, but remember that the best way to determine someone’s preferred identity or pronoun is to simply ask them.

• LGBTI+: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans+ and intersex people.
• Lesbian: A woman who is mainly attracted to other women.
• Gay: Someone who is mainly attracted to people of the same gender.
• Bisexual: Someone who is attracted to people of the same gender and also to people of other genders.
• Transgender: A term describing a person’s gender identity that does not match their assigned sex at birth. This word is also used as an umbrella term to describe some groups of people who transcend conventional expectations of gender identity or expression.
• Intersex: This is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural bodily variations that do not fit typical binary notions of male and female bodies, for example, variations in genetic, hormonal, or physical sex characteristics.
• Sexual Orientation: Sexual and romantic attraction.
• Gender identity:  Our deeply felt internal experience of our own gender.
• Heterosexual: Someone who is attracted to people of a different gender.
• LGBTI+ bullying:  Bullying based on prejudice or discrimination towards LGBTI+ people.
• Pansexual:  Someone who could be attracted to any person, regardless of their gender.
• Gender expression: How we show our gender through our clothing, hair, behaviour, etc.
• Cisgender:  Someone who is not transgender or non-binary.
• Non-binary: People whose gender identity is neither exclusively woman or man or is in between or beyond the gender binary.

At Belong To, Ireland’s national LGBTQ+ youth organisation, we can help you to support that important young person in your life, during a time that can be challenging.

For more information on LGBTQ+ identities and supporting a child or family member who is LGBTQ+, visit www.belongto.org

Unlike some other combs on the market, the Nitty Gritty Comb has twisted prongs which help to catch the nits and ensure you get them off the hair. I really think combing is the way to go and many mums that swear by this particular comb.

To have the best chance of getting rid of all the nits and lice, use conditioner on dry or damp hair, and comb the conditioner through using the nitty gritty comb. Wipe it after each brush on a white tissue and wash the comb thoroughly with soap after use.

Nitty Gritty also have a range of natural remedies to prevent and get rid of lice and nits.

Quick acting, the Hedrin All in One shampoo was a popular choice. Parents and kids liked that there is no ‘chemical’ odour to this shampoo, and it does not contain any pesticides, which the lice could become immune to.

Tip: The trick with over the counter products is to only use them if you are sure there is an infestation, as overuse of these products is causing nits and lice to become immune to their effects.

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The Fairy Tales Goodbye Lice Survival Kit is also widely used. The kit comes with the nit terminator comb, a Lice Goodbye mousse to treat lice, and a spray to repel nits once hair has been treated. Best of all, it is totally natural.

Parents found NitWits Head Lice Treatment Spray easy and mess-free to use, particularly with younger children who found sitting still for intensive combing hard.

Other parents use tea tree conditioner, such as Dr Organic Tea Tree Conditioner, which contains tea tree oil and peppermint extracts.

Parents recommended leaving the conditioner in the hair as they have found that their children have avoided getting head lice altogether as a result.

Parents responded that this Lice Zapper electronic comb was a chemical-free choice for getting rid of head lice, however still found that it required a thorough combing and repeated treatments.

• Tea Tree Oil – When we asked our parent audience for their tips on getting rid of head lice, tea tree was one that came up over and over again. Many parents buy tea tree oil and dilute it with water to spray behind the ears as a prevention method.
• Aloe Vera and Jojoba – Mums told us that they use aloe vera and jojoba shampoo and conditioner on their kids and they have avoided head lice.
• Oil and Vinegar – As a natural remedy, one parent suggested coating infected hair with vinegar and leaving on for 20 minutes. Add olive oil and leave on for another 20 minutes and then comb to get rid of nits and lice. Afterwards wash thoroughly with your regular shampoo. You may need to do several washes to get the vinegar and oil solution out of the hair. The vinegar helps to dissolve the gummy solution that holds nits in place on the hair shaft.
• Mayonnaise – Another natural method is to coat the hair with mayonnaise, which contains both oil and vinegar. For it to work best, coat the hair with mayonnaise and cover with a shower cap or old swim cap. Leave in for at least an hour and overnight if possible. After removing the cap, comb through the hair and then wash well with your usual shampoo. The result will be shiny, healthy looking, nit-free hair. Repeat treatment after 3 weeks.

Patience and time spent combing hair seems to be the best method to get rid of head lice and keep them gone. Checking once a week and spending time combing hair with a nit comb and some conditioner does seem to work.

Also have a chat with your child about keeping their heads away from other children, keeping long hair tied up and not sharing hats, combs or brushes.

Tweens and teens will always appreciate cash in a card, but for special occasions it is much more special and memorable to give a physical gift.

We’ve compiled some great ideas to give you inspiration when it comes to shopping for the Confirmation child – and you’ll find these Confirmation gift ideas are definitely well received!

A personalised gift that’s just for them gives the child a special memory of their Confirmation day.

Engraved jewellery, personalised team jerseys, monogrammed clothes or accessories, a mug, room decor, and wall art are all good choices. Sites like Etsy, Not On the High Street, Getting Personal, and Prezzy Box all have lots of items to choose from.

You can even personalise a large range of trainers, clothes and accessories – these would definitely be popular!

My 12 year old, who will make Confirmation this year, is obsessed with doing her room up. Room accessory gifts could include cushions, wall art, a desk and chair, new bedding, personalised decor, or string lights.

We love the colour combo from this tween room by The Creativity Exchange, however it’s a good idea to consult with the Confirmation child before you buy as they may have a favourite colour, theme or idea in mind.

A watch, charm bracelet, cufflinks, necklace or earrings can all make good alternative Confirmation gifts, especially if you are the child’s godparent.

If you’re unsure where to start, check out brands like Pandora, Alex and Ani, and Thomas Sabo which are all very popular.

Give them a voucher for their local cinema so they can enjoy a fun afternoon out with their friends (or with you!).

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Ok so we know it’s money, but it is in a different format and they do last a lifetime. My daughter recently won on Prize Bonds that were bought for her when she was born!

Plus, buying Prize Bonds or savings bonds means that they can’t get at the money for a few years, so you are saving for their future.

If they are the adventurous type, an action-packed day out together makes a great Confirmation gift. Ziplining, escape rooms, water sports, wall climbing, trampolining, hiking – there are lots of options available. Even if you don’t want to partake, you could organise a day for the child and their friends. They can create special memories that will last a lifetime.

A few examples for Ireland could include: Boda Borg at Lough Key Forest & Activity Park, Croke Park Skyline Tour, adventure at Wildlands, a trip to Westport House, or a trip to go kayaking, wall climbing or other adventure facilities.

Music gifts will always be well received by children of this age. Concert tickets, an iTunes (or similar) voucher, a subscription to a music streaming service, good headphones to listen to their streaming service or a mini stereo system would all be good options.

The promise of a future fun day out with you to the cinema, for a special lunch, or to visit a fun attraction will appeal to most children.

The build up to their special day can be hectic and sometimes there is an anti-climax in the aftermath. Having something special to look forward to is a bonus.

A book reader, such as a Kindle, makes a great gift for children who love to read. Or for those who already have one, credit towards new books.

If physical books are preferred, find a boxed set of books you think they would enjoy or perhaps gift something you enjoyed at their age. Or consider a book subscription that sends them a book every month.

If the Confirmation child is artistic, choose some art and craft supplies they may enjoy – canvases, different types of paint, an easel, craft supplies, etc. Alternatively, you could book them a class so they can develop their skills. There are usually classes in pottery, jewellery making, painting, photography, calligraphy, creative writing, sewing, knitting and many more to choose from.

Similarly, if the child in question is musical they may appreciate some one-on-one lessons to develop their skills.

If you have a beautiful picture from the Confirmation Day or of the child, you could consider getting a canvas print made from it. Or, if you would prefer to have a gift on the day itself, ask the Mum or Dad for a nice photo of the child with their friends that you could use.

From listening to music to streaming shows online, talking to friends or gaming, good headphones are a must these days for kids of this age.

Prices vary wildly so take advice from experts on what might be the best product depending on your budget.

If the Confirmation child already has good headphones, a bluetooth speaker would be a good alternative.

A voucher for their favourite restaurant or a cool place they haven’t tried yet makes a great gift. They could ask their BFF(s) to join them for a special treat and pay the bill for everyone.

Or take them for afternoon tea as a treat, here are some fabulous places in Ireland for afternoon tea.

If you are a confident baker, you could offer to bake and decorate the cake – here are 10 simple homemade Confirmation cakes if you want some inspiration.

If baking is not your forte, let the Confirmation child pick their favourite cake from a local bakery and buy that for them to share and enjoy on the day. You will be a big hit with Mum and Dad too!

From cute cards to notebooks, young teens love stationery. And they will have all those thank you cards to write after their Confirmation Day…!

Super stationery gift ideas for tweens include: journals, novelty items, colouring pencils and books, notepads, sketch books and drawing books, doodle pads, pens, markers and highlighters (especially Sharpies).

A voucher for a photo session could be given on the day and the child could visit the studio in their Confirmation outfit, with family or friends at a later date. This will give them a memento to keep forever.

As an alternative, creating a photo book for them is always a thoughtful gift.

Who doesn’t like to receive new clothes? A voucher for the Confirmation child’s favourite clothes shop/site, or clothes with a gift receipt will go down a treat.

With summer just around the corner, the Confirmation child may wish to attend a summer camp with friends. You could offer to book a place in their chosen summer camp as a gift. Check out the best summer camps for teens so you can offer some suggestions.

From hair accessories to a hair cut, every young teen likes to look their best and have a good hair day.

Hair gift ideas could include:

• Gift set of hair care products
• Treatment at their favourite hair salon or barbers on the morning of their special day
• Hair straighteners, curlers and driers
• Hair accessories
• Style consultant session for new hair style ideas

There are some great outdoor game sets and sports equipment available to buy, such as:

• a basketball hoop
• goal net
• football, rugby or GAA gear
• tennis or badminton equipment
• Giant Jenga and garden games

These can not only be used on the day itself, but will give the child many hours of fun into the future.

With more than 1,000 Squishmallows to collect, take your pick from animals, sea creatures, food, seasonal and character favourites. This ridiculously cute, cuddly and huggable viral phenomenon is a great gift for all ages.

Available from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com, as well as leading retailers and toy stores.

LED lights have taken over TikTok, and there’s no doubt that your TikToker will love to give their room a rainbow makeover with some easy-to-install strip lights.

Get ready to hit your own at-home karaoke stage with a wireless microphone. You don’t even need the whole karaoke set up, just this microphone that connects to your phone via bluetooth, and can record your superstar singing!

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Ready to get to know your friends and family on a much deeper level? We’re Not Really Strangers is the card game that invites you to ask the big questions and garner truly meaningful connections with those you love.

The instax mini 40 is pumped with attitude for today’s new generation of image makers and shot takers. Combining fast action features with classic design cues it’ll keep you one shot ahead of the rest. After all, slowing down isn’t an option. Thanks to the built-in selfie lens, auto shutter speed, and auto brightness, you can be ready to hit the streets running. And the best part? What you see is what you get, every shot, every time, on high quality instax mini film.

Water, milk, smoothies, juice – they’ll all look great in these clear milk carton water bottles that are all the rage now!

This awesome moon lamp shows the moon’s appearance on the lamp’s shell. Rest the moon on the stand, or hold the whole world in your hands!

With dimmable brightness and a choice of both bright and warm white, this moon lamp is a great, stylish alternative to a traditional night light or occasional lamp.

Imagine having an infinite supply of bubble wrap and getting to pop away to your heart’s content….that’s what a bubble popper fidget toy is!

These compact and easily portable fidget toys come in a range of sizes, shapes and colours. Young or old, this unique push pop sensory toy provides endless hours of fidget fun.

Never worry about the lightning of your selfies again with this clip-on attachment from Swipe. Simply clip it onto the front of your smartphone and allow the 36 LED lights to brighten up your selfies! Features three brightness settings.

These award-winning ice globes are a reusable, refreezable alternative to ice and other one-time use beauty products. Use daily to stimulate circulation and visibly enhance your skin’s appearance for a natural glow.

Compete with your friends and family to create the funniest memes by using one of your dealt caption cards to caption the photo card in each round.

Suitable for ages 17+

Friendship lamps are the unique way to connect with people you love around the world. Simply tap your lamp and your friend’s lamp will turn on! Send colours, convey messages and bridge the gap in the distance that separates you!

Available as a single lamp, or in sets of 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 lamps.

Skincare brand Glossier is everywhere, with beauty products that make fantastic gifts and treats. However, it’s the on-trend pink hoodie that’s taking TikTok by storm.

This plush hoodie with signature Glossier logo to the front and Smile Wave motif on the back, has a kitten-soft fleecy inside and a front pocket pouch.

Now you can sing in the shower in style!

Suction this speaker to the shower wall, connect via bluetooth to your phone, and hit ‘play’ on your favourite songs to sing in the shower!

These square bubble candles are insanely popular, and a fun little TikTok-inspired gift to give.

Throw it back to the noughties with a beaded charm for your phone, finished with a loop for adding to your phone.

Korean beauty products and techniques have boomed in popularity, and Dr Jart+ is one brand that’s front and centre.

The Cicapair range, particularly the Colour Correcting Treatment SPF30, is a bestseller and hero product that neutralises redness and leaves you with fabulous looking skin.

Tween is defined as the years between childhood and adolescence, in other words the pre-teen years of approximately 8 to 12 years old, when your child sometimes feels too old for childhood games and toys, but too young for teenage pursuits.

Puberty and hormones are starting to hit, mood swings are definitely likely, and your previously balanced child may flip between being happy-go-lucky and then having the weight of the world on their shoulders.

It’s crucial to remember that they are also struggling to understand how they are feeling, so reassurance and lots of cuddles may still be needed!

I love you and I know, even when you don’t like me much, you love me too.

I will try not to embarrass you in public with shows of affection, but I have to hug you sometimes, that is just what Mums and Dads do.

I have gotten the phrase “you just don’t understand” or “how would you know” thrown at me plenty in the last few years and the truth is: I don’t always understand. But please help me to understand. I don’t need to understand everything, but I would like to be here for you to help when I can.

We all do things we shouldn’t, even me, but please know that whatever you do or whenever you need me, I will always be there for you.

And try to think before you act.

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Be strong – try not to give in to peer pressure. Be true to yourself. Be assertive but not aggressive and if you need help, ask for it, no matter how big or small the problem is.

At the moment if may seem like your friends are all you need, but family is important too. We will love you no matter what.

Remember good friends look out for each other and don’t pressurise you into doing things you don’t want to do. And everyone falls out from time to time, good friends get over arguments.

I know you are growing up and pick up on more than you did when you were younger. I will always try to be honest with you and you should try and be honest with me too. Please ask me anything you want to know or are unsure about. There are no wrong questions.

I know you don’t always feel that I do, but so long as you give me no reason not to, I trust you.

I can help give you direction, but I will do my best to let you judge situations and friendships.

I know you want more independence and I am happy to work with you on that. But please, trust your instincts and if it feels wrong, walk away. Let’s set boundaries together, I will stick to mine if you stick to yours. But breaking them will have consequences.

From fashion to music, it is okay to learn from others but please make your own choices, be your own person, just be yourself.

Have the confidence to express your own thoughts and opinions and to make up your own mind. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same.

Peer pressure can be difficult – believe in yourself and do what is right.

Everyone feel helpless or vulnerable from time to time. I am here for you if you feel that way, and we can work it out together.

I will respect your privacy and you can trust me always. I will try not to judge.

Now that you are getting older, I think it would be great if you learned a few important life skills. Maybe cook a few dinners (we can start with your favourites), how the washing machine works, how to fix a puncture on your bicycle, how to beat me at 25 or Gin Rummy, how to fish…or if there are any other skills you want to learn, just let me know.

Read everything you can, not just to educate but for enjoyment.

People will tell lies, from little white lies up to great big ones.

Your friends will lie about everything from their relationship experiences to things they have done. Trust your judgement on those and never ever do it just because everyone else says they are….chances are they are not.

And as for not believing everything you see….have you heard of Photoshop?

Look out for your friends, but if they want to take risks that you don’t, walk away. And if those risks have bad results, remember you can only be responsible for yourself and your actions.

Tweens rarely take, or want to take, time away from their devices in our ‘always on’ world.

It is important to instil a sense of understanding in your tween about how this mobile world can affect their lives, not just now but into the future. And how to ask for help if they are experiencing bullying or problems online.

Teach them that ‘anonymous’ does not always remain anonymous. Pictures and comments posted now will stay on the internet forever for future employers, partners and families to look at. So before they post, ask them to consider how they would feel if you saw it? And how would they feel if someone posted the same about them.

Try and get them to take a break from screen time, to read for fun, not just study, to hang out with friends or take some exercise or play sport.

Finally, try to learn about the sites and apps that they are using. Not all of them are suitable for their age group and they need to understand why that is, which means you need to understand why too!

You won’t be able to change everything. Work on the things you can change, and move on and learn from what you can’t change.

It is great to play sport and be part of a team. It will teach you how to work with others, how to lose and win gracefully, how to respect authority. And you can have loads of fun along the way too. At this stage it is great to try out lots of different sports and find what you like best.

Find a hobby that you love doing, you will make new friends from other schools who share your interests. And when you move onto high school or secondary school, you will have the advantage of knowing students coming from other schools.

School, extra curricular activities, friends, homework and so much more fills your days. It is okay to take time out and just chill in your space.

Hang out in your room, listen to music, make a craft project, read some comics or books. It’s also okay to still play with toys at your age, so if want to make some LEGO, colour a picture, do a puzzle or play with your dolls, just go ahead and do that…and enjoy it!

Sometimes injecting humour into a situation can help get the message across much better than shouting and cajoling.

Now your child is getting older, it is okay to tell them stories about your past (within reason) that may make them laugh and help them understand that you were a child once too. It shows them that nobody is perfect and that you trust them enough to share.

As your child grows up, it is important to teach them about money management skills – the value of it, what it takes to earn it, how to look after it, and how to spend it wisely. You can do this by:

• Involving your tween in family purchases for things like computers, holidays etc.
• Getting them to help with shopping so they understand the value of money.
• Giving them chores so they can earn money to buy the things they want. Here are Chores for Kids by Age to give you an idea what they should be doing at this age.
• Teaching them how to save money too, don’t always add the extra to let them have something ‘right now’.

These lessons will stand to them as they grow.

Equipping our children with these skills allows them to grow and develop outside of our presence, to feel accomplishment at completing a task on their own, and to prepare for ‘real life’ as they get older.

While it may seem like toddlers and preschoolers are too young for this life lesson, it really is never too early to start. A small amount of independence to complete a task (tidying up their toys, attempting to make their bed, and so on) can then be built upon as they grow.

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1. How to swim
2. How to cook a healthy meal for themselves
3. How to budget and pay bills
4. How to put on laundry
5. Learn another language
6. How to have good manners
7. How to be gracious in losing
8. How to be a good team member
9. How to have empathy
10. How to boil an egg
11. How to unblock a drain
12. How to tie shoelaces
13. How to ride a bicycle
14. How to change a plug
15. How to fix a puncture on bike (or change a car tyre)
16. How to light a fire
17. How to wash windows
18. How to set a mouse trap
19. How to neatly wrap a gift
20. How to write a thank you letter and be grateful
21. How to clean a bathroom
22. How to write a resume/CV
23. How to write a job application letter
24. How to change a light bulb
25. How to make a cup of tea or coffee
26. How to bake bread
27. How to make a bed
28. How to tell the truth
29. How to ask for help
30. How to say sorry