Our instinct as parents is to provide and protect. This has become even more apparent as we navigate our way through the current COVID crisis. But our kids, especially our teens, are more resilient than we sometimes give them credit for.

Opening up and talking about the family finances (within reason) gives them an opportunity to ask questions, gain understanding and ultimately be better prepared for their future.

For most, they will face tough financial decisions and being equipped with the skills to navigate their way through those decisions is perhaps one of the best gifts you can give them.

Children pick up on and mimic the behaviour of their parents and their peers. From a young age they are forming their financial understanding, through the games you play together and from listening to and watching your attitude and behaviour to spending and saving.

Everyday events from shopping to paying bills, saving for bigger ticket items and bringing them along when you lodge money to your account are learning opportunities and can help start the discussion around money and goal setting.

As they get older, enlist their help to research things like insurance, household bills, holidays, etc. Could they help save the family money or find a better way to get away for a family break? Can you reward them by sharing a portion of the savings in return for their help? By doing this you are equipping them to want to research in the future when it is their money and they are looking for ways to save and spend wisely.

Most teens have a basic understanding of where money comes from. Talk to them about ways they can earn money. You may choose to pay your teen for chores or they may help neighbours with babysitting, car washing, grass cutting, etc. As they grow, encouraging them to apply for a summer job, where they may have to pay tax and learn to use a tax estimator, are all great ways to show them the time and effort required to get money.

It is also good to have the conversation around future plans. Jobs they think they may like and what they may need to do to get there. So chatting about interest areas, looking at college courses and drilling into what they offer, and even looking at recruitment websites to get an idea of what salary they can expect are all ways to help them plan their financial future better.

Once your teen reaches 18, the offers for credit cards, store cards and other tempting offers will come flooding in. Talk to them about their credit score and how easy it is to get into debt. Explain how a credit card works and what happens if you don’t clear the debt each month.

Investing in stocks and shares can be an exciting way to teach your teen about risk and reward.

“The stock market is just one big shop. Instead of buying a chocolate bar in that shop, you can buy a piece of the company that makes chocolate bars. If the company that makes the chocolate makes a profit, it’s worth more, and the price you bought it for may go up. Maybe that company will decide to give the profits directly to the people who own the shares and that’s called a dividend. If the company makes a loss, which can happen, the share price can go down, that’s called a risk,” explains Susan Hayes Culleton, CFA, “The Positive Economist” and author of Money Matters.

There are also other investment opportunities open to them, including crypto currency, starting their own business, and investing in other financial products or services.

Talking through the options with your teen and doing the research helps them make an informed choice, but they do need to understand the risks to their investment and only risk what they can afford to lose.

Money Matters is a financial literacy textbook with the support of CFA Ireland. It is written as menu of personal finance, investing and entrepreneurship life skills.

The book is tailored for young people in the following ways:

• It is story-focused whereby students can learn about pensions through characters like Sarah who starts her first job and is wondering what “tax relief” means for her.
• It is full of relevant modernity including ESG, fintech, online brokers, differentiating between trading and investing as well as using technology for active learning.
• It gives a real taste of the diversity of careers available today and tomorrow in finance. Each chapter contains a case study of a CFA Institute charterholder and highlights how the the theory learned in subjects like accounting, business, maths and economics connect with the practicality of everyday life and life-changing decisions.

Find out more and buy your copy here  so you can start talking to your teen about money and finances.

Every year, meteorological offices around the world release a slew of names that will be used in order to identify each and every storm. Over the years we have become increasingly familiar with some of the most momentous both here and in the US, including Katrina, Irma, Ophelia and many more. The result is that those names see a drastic drop in popularity with new parents who might otherwise have considered them for their baby.

According to the US Social Security Administration, which tracks the most popular names in the United States, Katrina was at its most popular in 1982 when 3,323 babies were given the name. In 2005, the year Hurricane Katrina struck, the name saw a drastic drop to 1,327 babies – dropping consistently each year since to just 190 in 2016.

While unusual names, such as Ophelia, may not recover in popularity for several years, it is most likely that classic names won’t be overly affected.

This naming of storms by National Meteorological Services has been shown to raise awareness of severe weather and help with citizen safety.

A storm is named by a National Met Service when Orange or Red level winds are forecast to impact over a wide land area. Orange or Red level gusts can occur in exposed areas without the event being named. In addition there may be high impact precipitation (rain/snow) associated with the storm system.

“The naming of storms by National Met Services (as well as colour coding weather warnings as Yellow, Orange or Red) provides a clear, authoritative and consistent message to the public and prompts people to take action to prevent harm to themselves or to their property,” explains Evelyn Cusack, Head of Forecasting for Met Éireann.

“The storm names also add an extra interest for people with particular excitement in a family when one of their names appears in the list. We mostly pick names that can be easily pronounced, but some are less generally recognised.”

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Once a storm is named by any National Met Service globally, that name is retained if the storm moves out of that jurisdiction and into other waters. For example, in the past we have seen Ophelia and Lorenzo, both named by the National Hurricane Center (USA), and Emma by IPMA (Portugal) hit Irish shores.

Starting with the letter A, each of the 2023/24 winter storms will be allocated a name. Some will be stronger than others, and we may not even be aware of some as the die down before becoming a nuisance, but let’s hope we don’t make it through all of them…!

The UK and Ireland’s met offices began naming storms in 2015, and were joined by the Royal Netherlands Meteorological Institute (KNMI) in 2019 to form the West group. The Southwest group consists of Portugal, Spain, France and Belgium.

These names have been released jointly by Met Éireann, the UK’s Met Office, and the Dutch National Weather Service (KNMI). The choices are based on suggestions from the public and aim to reflect the diversity of each of these countries.

1. Ciarán
2. Debi
3. Elin
4. Fergus
5. Gerrit
6. Henk
7. Isha
8. Jocelyn
9. Kathleen
10. Lilian
11. Minnie
12. Nicholas
13. Olga
14. Piet
15. Regina
16. Stuart
17. Tamiko
18. Vincent
19. Walid

Since 1953, Atlantic tropical storms had been named from lists originated by the National Hurricane Center.

The NHC works with a set list of names that are used in rotation and recycled every six years (i.e. the 2019 list will be used again in 2025). The only time that there is a change in the list is if a storm is so deadly or costly that the future use of its name on a different storm would be inappropriate for reasons of sensitivity. If that occurs, the offending name is stricken from the list and another name is selected to replace it. Several names have been retired since the lists were created, including in recent years Katrina, Harvey, Irma, Sandy, Irene, Matthew and Florence.

The NHC names also run in a January to December calendar. The current season of 2023 storm names includes: Arlene, Bret, Cindy, Don, Emily, Franklin, Gert, Harold, Idalia, Jose, Katia, Lee, Margot, Nigel, Ophelia, Philippe, Rina, Sean, Tammy, Vince, Whitney.

The names for 2024 will be:

• Alberto
• Beryl
• Chris
• Debby
• Ernesto
• Francine
• Gordon
• Helene
• Isaac
• Joyce
• Kirk
• Leslie
• Milton
• Nadine
• Oscar
• Patty
• Rafael
• Sara
• Tony
• Valerie
• William

The Eastern Pacific Region has its own set of storm names set by the NHC. As with the Atlantic storms, these similarly run on a rotating six-year cycle.

The current season of 2023 storm names includes: Adrian, Beatriz, Calvin, Dora, Eugene, Fernanda, Greg, Hilary, Irwin, Jova, Kenneth, Lidia, Max, Norma, Otis, Pilar, Ramon, Selma, Todd, Veronica, Wiley, Xina, York, Zelda.

The names for 2024 will be:

• Aletta
• Bud
• Carlotta
• Daniel
• Emilia
• Fabio
• Gilma
• Hector
• Ileana
• John
• Kristy
• Lane
• Miriam
• Norman
• Olivia
• Paul
• Rosa
• Sergio
• Tara
• Vicente
• Willa
• Xavier
• Yolanda
• Zeke

First things first, set a date for your diary – the Toy Show will be back on our screens on Friday November 24th.

This year’s Penneys Late Late Toy Show range has everything you need for a cosy night in in front of the TV – comfy pyjamas for the whole family, fuzzy slipper socks and snuggly snoodies.

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Don’t miss the Santa letter set for that ever-growing list the kids are sure to make in the coming weeks (or during the Toy Show itself).

The Penneys Late Late Toy Show range will be in stores nationwide from October 9th.

The most important part is that Penneys will donate €100,000 to the RTE Toy Show Appeal, which helps to support a wide variety of children’s charities and causes around Ireland. They will also donate a further €20,000 to Children’s Health Foundation which helps to support sick children and their families at each of the children’s hospitals in Crumlin, Temple Street, Tallaght and Connolly.

And the best bit? A special delivery of these cosy and snuggly goodies will be delivered to children spending the night of the Toy Show in these hospitals so they can enjoy the festivities too!

• Chopping Board
• Sharp knife & vegetable peeler
• Saucepans/Frying pan/wok
• Ovenproof dish/baking tray
• Cutlery
• Plates/bowls/cups/glasses
• Tin & bottle openers
• Spatula/cooking serving spoon/Fish slice
• Strainer/colander
• Scissors

Although not essential, it can also be nice to have toaster bags to rustle up a toasted sandwich easily, pizza mesh/tray for the oven & a pizza cutter.

• Salt & Pepper
• Cooking oil
• Herbs/spices
• Condiments (ketchup, soy sauce, honey, stock cubes etc.)
• Kitchen roll (better than cleaning cloths which tend to get smelly)
• Tea towels (3)
• Washing up liquid
• Washing up brush
• Kitchen cleaner
• Tinned food
• Dried food (pasta, noodles, rice etc.)
• Aluminium foil
• Microwaveable storage containers for leftovers
• Bin bags

Check out our handy list of store cupboard ingredients.

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• Duvet (check what size the bed in your room will be in advance)
• Pillows
• Bed linen
• Reading lamp (may be provided)
• Wastepaper bin + liners (may be provided)
• Small drying rack
• Laundry bag/basket
• Extension plug/socket
• Tissues
• Pin board (may be provided)
• Storage containers/baskets

Anything that will help you settle in things like photos of the family and family pet, fairy lights, scented candle, cushions etc.

• Toilet roll
• Toilet brush (may be provided)
• Bin liners
• Toothpaste
• Toothbrush
• Soap
• Shampoo/conditioner
• Shower gel
• Towels
• Bleach/toilet/bathroom cleaner
• Bath mat
• Period products (tampons/pads)

• Reusable shopping bag
• Water bottle
• Chargers
• Laptop + case for carrying
• Travel card/pass
• Any medication and a small first aid kit with plasters, paracetamol, ibuprofen, cough syrup, antiseptics wipes etc.

While it is an exciting time for students and their parents, it can also be a daunting time too. Setting them up with the basic essentials will help them settle in quickly.

I would recommend doing a grocery shop with them before they start so they have some store-cupboard ingredients for some basic meals. Remind them to store leftovers in the fridge or freezer for a quick meal on nights when they don’t have time to prepare one from scratch. And to sign up for any loyalty cards for local shops too!

I always add a packet of multi-vitamins into my teens bag before she heads off for the new term.

One final tip is not to go overboard on the shopping, as they won’t have space to store lots of extras!

While celebrations such as receiving exam results are meant to be enjoyed, it is important that young people maintain a balanced approach, have fun and act responsibly while cherishing the occasion. 

You, as a parent, play a crucial role in influencing young people (even when they are young adults) to celebrate safely, especially when there is a possibility of risk or harm.

Receiving exam results can bring heightened emotions. It is important to listen to and support your child with the many mixed emotions they may feel. These heightened emotions may lead young people to take risks, particularly when they want to celebrate these milestones.

For those who sat the Leaving Cert, it is also a time of huge change. Young people can experience a sense of sadness, as they may be leaving the old and familiar behind. Others will experience uncertainty about the possibility of moving away from home and into the unknown.

For some there will be anxiety and stress, especially if they feel they did not do well. Or they may experience joy and elation at the thoughts of entering the adult world.

It is important that you are informed about the risks associated with alcohol so that you can chat openly and honestly to your young person.

Drinkaware can help with their dedicated parent hub where they offer online supports, information and resources. In addition, they run regular webinars for parents.

Their next webinar – “Parents’ role in influencing young people to celebrate safely.” takes place from 1pm to 2pm on Tuesday August 22nd.  Register for this Drinkaware Webinar today!

This is your opportunity, as a parent, to engage with your young person in a wholesome way and enable them to celebrate achievements and enjoy success without the need for exposing themselves to the risks of alcohol or binge drinking.

Did you know for instance, that young people who start drinking before the age of 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol-related problems later in life than those who wait until 21 years? (1)

Adolescents fear social rejection so the way they celebrate may reflect this as they may engage in behaviours that will increase their sense of belonging and connection with their peer group.

As a parent, it is important you are aware of how your child is planning to celebrate exam results night. Ask them how they plan to celebrate and get a conversation going, rather than telling them what to do.

This can help them share their concerns or fears with you and open up about difficulties they or their friends have experienced to date when socialising.

Trust is an important attribute to develop together as your child grows. Not only your trust in them and confidence that you have given them the skills to be resilient and make good decisions, but their trust in you.

When it comes to exam celebrations night, ensure your young person knows that you are there for them should they need you. That you are just a phone call away.

Some parents have told us that they have a ‘safe’ word or phrase agreed in advance with their child. If they call or message using the word or phrase, it is their way of letting  you know they need your help, without losing face in front of friends.

Exam results night is not the night for sleepovers. In a recent survey we carried out with parents, unsupervised parties were amongst the top concerns parents have when it comes to their young person and alcohol.

Insist on picking up your young person at an agreed time, so you can be reassured that they get home safely and come to no harm. 

Parents lead by example and modelling responsible behaviour is very important as young people emulate parental behaviour. It helps them develop responsible decision making and to understand there are consequences to behaviour – all valuable skills for living and working.

Showing them that alcohol isn’t an essential requirement for you to celebrate an achievement or to mark an occasion or to have fun can have a powerful impact on their future decision making.

Your attitudes and behaviour during this milestone can impact the young person’s attitudes, actions and behaviour.

Alcohol really should have no place in celebrations for those under 18 years old and should be treated with caution and respect by those over 18.

The brain is still developing up to the age of 24 and alcohol impacts memory and the decisions made while under the influence. Delaying a young person’s drinking age reduces the risk of harmful drinking later in life. (2)

Young people need to be aware of potential dangers linked to unsafe behaviours such as harmful alcohol consumption, reckless driving, or other risky activity.

They need to know of potential consequences, both personal and legal that may arise from such behaviours.

Having boundaries in place, that are agreed together in advance, can help keep them safe and well on nights out.

Parents and Family members have the single strongest influence of all external factors on young people’s attitudes towards drinking. (3) This was also identified by young people themselves (4) where they identified parents as being the main source of information on alcohol.

Having a good quality parent/child relationship is connected with delayed alcohol initiation and reduced later alcohol use. (5) Delaying alcohol consumption is important as research shows that 1 in 3 or 38% of young people aged 15 to 24 have an alcohol use disorder (AUD). (6)

By showing young people you are operating out of a place of love and respect you can really have an impact on the future they are creating for themselves.

Celebrating safely by staying sober reduces the risk of accidents and injuries to self or others and involves responsible decision-making.

This is the beginning of a new phase with new opportunities and new challenges for your young person.

They still need you – your presence, love and support in their lives. Do not underestimate that need or your influence.

Take care of yourself and mind your own health and wellbeing. You are their greatest resource!

For further support and information please register for Drinkaware Webinar – “Parents’ role in influencing young people to celebrate safely.”

It takes place from 1.00pm -2.00pm on Tuesday 22nd August. The webinar aims to:

• Highlight the important role of parents in supporting young people to celebrate safely
• Provide you with facts, knowledge and tips to help you have a conversation about celebrations and alcohol with your young person
• Offer tips and advice on how to stay safe, especially if choosing to drink
• Establish what other supports would benefit Parents.

Sources:
(1) Grant et al (1997) cited in Mongan et al (2007) Health Related Consequences of Problem Alcohol Use. Overview 6. Dublin. Health Research Board.
(2) Straight Talk – A Guide For Parents on Teenage Drinking, Health Promotion Unit, H.S.E.
(3) Behaviour & Attitudes (2016). Alcohol Education. Is it meeting the Needs of Junior Certificate Students? Dublin: Report Commissioned by Drinkaware.
(4) The Drinkaware Index (2019): Analysing Hazardous Drinking in Ireland. Dublin, Drinkaware
(5) S. M. Ryan, et al, Parents Factors Associated with Reduced Adolescent Alcohol Use, (Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 2010) p 779.
(6) Health Research Board (2022) HRB Overview Series 12 Alcohol and other drug use among children and young people in Ireland: prevalence, risk and protective factors, consequences, responses, and policies Anne Doyle, Salome Sunday, Brian Galvin, Deirdre Mongan

For a tiny baby, the beat of a rhyme or song and its associated actions, naturally and comfortingly take the place of the heartbeat of the mother’s womb and the movements of the mother’s body.

Singing along while stroking a crying baby’s back, peekaboo smiles with a tiny baby, little toe-tickling games, knee-bouncing a toddler faster and faster, swooping them high up in the air, touching fingers and toes one by one, soothing a little one to sleep ~ these are the kinds of interaction that can make babyhood and early childhood so precious ~ and for all of these interactions, there are little playsongs and rhymes to accompany them.

Your voice is the most important sound in your child’s world. They’ll love however your singing voice sounds. It’s the engagement that matters.

With our voice and our cradling arms we can croon a little one to sleep, or jog a toddler on our knee. But a song or a rhyme adds something ~ it engages us in the interaction for that little bit longer, which is so beneficial to us both.

Here are some favourites from the Playsongs resources. All of them work for any age or stage of early childhood.

From the very earliest days, when a baby’s focus is very limited still, they are learning your face and voice and those are the whole world to them.

Cradle baby close, and touch each part of baby’s face as you say this traditional play rhyme, while looking into baby’s eyes. A bigger baby or toddler will start to touch your face in turn as you say the rhyme.

Eye winker (touch cheek below one eye)
Tom tinker (touch cheek below the other eye)
Nose smeller (touch nose)
Mouth eater (touch mouth)
Chin chopper chin chopper chin (chuck baby’s chin)

Fundamental to communication, your voice, movements and expressions are all being absorbed by your little one. Songs and rhymes provide more of those long moments that bring you face to face and increase bonding time together.

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Hide your face behind your hands and peek out to either side, opening your hands wide on BOO in this little peekaboo song.

Can you play at peekaboo? I can play at peekaboo,
Are you there? Yes I am!
Are you there? Yes I am!
Peeka-peek-peeka-peeka-BOO!

Peekaboo is one of the most universal games we play with babies. It helps them develop the reassurance that even if we are hidden, we are still here. As a baby grows they’ll start to mimic us with their own peekaboo hands playing the game.

Pat your baby’s front lightly as they lie on a soft surface; smooth your open hand around their chest; walk your fingers down to baby’s feet and tickle baby’s toes. That’s how this little traditional song works.

It has the same tune as Two Little Dicky Birds, which you may know, but you can always freestyle it and make up your own.

Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, walk down the street,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, tickle your feet.
Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, walk up the stair,
Teddy bear, teddy bear, tickle you under there.

You can see that the song has a very simple pattern of words, melody and actions, and the joy is in the anticipation which those build towards the little tickle at the end. Songs and rhymes for this age are full of pattern and repetition, which are such an important part of developmental learning.

They also help baby to find the parts of their own body and start to recognise the names for them as you name and touch each part during a song or rhyme.

Tickle alert for this next one. My little grand baby loved this play rhyme so much, that she’d wordlessly hold out her hand for more, over and over again. That said, tickling should always be done with your baby’s consent.

A song or rhyme can be brilliant for distracting them out of a grump or a grizzle. Try it. It has restored good humour for me so many times!

Let’s eat an apple (take one of baby’s hands and pretend to gobble it up)
Let’s eat a plum (take the other hand and pretend to gobble it up)
Let’s blow a raspberry on your tum! (blow a raspberry on baby’s clothed tummy)

Do you know the tune to Hot cross buns? (Hot cross buns, hot cross buns, one a penny two a penny, hot cross buns.) Well it’s the same as the tune to this traditional foot patter – but it works just as well as a rhyme.

An ideal time to play it – or use it as a distraction – is when baby is lying on a changing mat with the soles of their feet handily in your reach.

Pat the soles of baby’s feet in turn to the beat of the song.

Hob shoe hob,
Hob shoe hob,
Here a nail and there a nail,
And that’s well shod.

Leg walkers are a lovely way to play, while baby is sitting on your knee. This time, instead of facing baby inwards face to face with you, turn baby to face outwards.

Take an ankle in each hand, and cross one over the other in turn to the beat of the rhyme. On JUMP, raise baby’s feet high in the air, supporting their body on your chest, between your arms.

Leg over leg As the dog went to Dover,
When he came to a style ~JUMP he went over.

With a bigger baby you can jump them into the air in a high lift. Step along instead of crossing ankles ~ it’s a good one for encouraging a toddler to make progress on a walk.

Knee-bouncing is such a favourite – particularly when you throw in a bump down between your legs onto the floor on ‘One fell off’.

The tune is Two Little Dicky Birds again! But this time there are three little monkeys bouncing on your knee.

Play-acting and exploring expression in voice and action is an important part of socialising as we learn to become communicators and to express our individuality.

Three little monkeys bouncing on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said,
‘No more monkey business bouncing on the bed!’

Here’s a traditional Irish knee bouncer ~ Achinaee. Bounce a little baby or toddler on your knee. On ‘floor’, quickly slide baby/toddler between your knees to the ground, lifting them back into your lap for more bouncing. And more and more and more…..

Achinaee, when I was wee,
I used to sit on my granny’s knee,
Her apron tore, and I fell on the floor,
Achinaee-a-ee.

A teeny tiny baby can’t tell us what’s wrong. Maybe it’s painful wind, or a fractious need for a nap. We’re probably all familiar with soothing a nearly new baby on our shoulder, gently patting or stroking their back, while swaying from one foot to the other. Not surprisingly there’s an age old type of song for that familiar stage – a croon.

A croon is a very simple, repetitive melody with very few words and with a slowly swaying rhythm, perfect for soothing and comforting a baby.

What may not be quite so well-recognised is the calming effect these songs have on ourselves and on our own distress. We’re tired out, we can’t remember the last full night’s sleep we had, we’re at our wits end, and the baby’s crying.

This one-word song can bring down the tension and soothe the distress of both adult and child. As you keep repeating it, it becomes restfully hypnotic, sung on, and on, and on.

Souallé souallé,
Souallé souallé,
Souallé souallé,
Souallé souallé,
Souallé souallé…

Well we could go on and on ~ I’ve only touched on that wealth of playsongs and rhymes, traditional and new, which make so many tricky moments of the day go more smoothly – nappy changes, washing and dressing, getting to places (specially with a toddler determined to walk – or not), teatimes, bath times, and bedtimes.

And that’s not to mention all their other many benefits ~ all the new language, imagination, co-ordination of both fine motor skills and whole body motor skills, emotions and empathy, and that most precious benefit of all ~ time spent together with undivided attention.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever grew up. I love the songs of early childhood so much. I’ve shared them with my own children, and with my grandchildren.

Through Playsongs Publications, I share them with everyone, and I hope you will have caught some of that pleasure and its benefits in the tasters I’ve given you here.

To access all the resources ~ books, audio, movies, blog ~ visit playsongs.co.uk

When asked about your influence on your children around alcohol you told us – “I completely believe as a parent I have a huge part to play in the perception of alcohol in my daughter’s life.”

“The influence we have as parents, I believe, is more to do with our own attitudes towards alcohol and how we model this in front of our children.”

This is backed up by research which shows that Parents and Family members have the single strongest influence of all external factors on young people’s attitudes towards drinking. (1) This was also identified by young people themselves , (2) where they identified parents as being the main source of information on alcohol.

It is important as a parent that you recognise the influence you have.

Parental self-efficacy is belief in your ability to make a difference in your child’s attitudes, beliefs, behaviour and overall well-being and healthy functioning.

If you don’t believe you have a strong influence this will come through in your actions and behaviour around your young person. By believing friends and others have more of an influence on your young person, you are handing your power away.

However, the strength of your influence depends on the type of relationship you have with your young person. The impact of your relationship with your child lasts a lifetime and influences a young person’s self-esteem, resilience and decisions.

By creating a supportive and nurturing relationship, you will enable young people to make healthy decisions in a world where alcohol is freely available. It will mean your child will turn to you for guidance and support when needed.

Parenting is never easy and there is no such thing as the perfect child or perfect parent.

Adolescence can be a particularly challenging stage of development for both you and your young person. It is a time of immense and confusing changes when fitting in becomes very important.

As young people try to find their place in the world, they look to friends for acceptance and want to be independent of you, their parents, while being under the control of or being led by their friends. A young person who does not feel a sense of belonging may succumb to friends’ requests to fit in, including experimenting with alcohol.

Maintaining a strong, loving, nurturing and open relationship with young people during adolescence will enable them to feel secure and stand on their own two feet without the need for alcohol.

As one parent commented: “You need to bring your children up to think for themselves and make their own decisions. They will of course make mistakes, but you need to be there for them.”

By your attitudes to, beliefs about and behaviour around alcohol, you can be an enabler of underage drinking or a protector from underage drinking.

You are a role model for your child around alcohol and have a unique opportunity to help them develop healthy attitudes towards alcohol use. The example you set around alcohol, the home rules you establish and behaviours you allow are important.

The research found that the majority of parents believe they are responsible in influencing their child’s attitude to and behaviour around alcohol. Comments included:

“Behaviour is learned- what they see parents doing is normalised. Children will copy their parents’ behaviour if not consciously, then unconsciously.”

“Yes, I think parents have a huge influence, as young children especially would observe their parents’ attitudes and use of alcohol and so most often would be a child’s example to form a child’s first opinions around alcohol use.”

Alcohol is often the first substance used by young people with the average age of consumption in Ireland being 15.5 years. (3)

• The earlier young people start to drink the greater the possibility of harm including damage to the brain and to mental, emotional and physical health.
• Young people who drink before or at 15 years old are four times more likely to develop alcohol-related problems later in life. (4)

It is important that you have conversations with young people about alcohol which can help protect your child from future alcohol harm.

• Without the conversations, young people may see no harm in starting to drink underage. As one parent commented; “I would really love kids to know that alcohol doesn’t make you cool.”
• By not talking about alcohol to young people, you may give the message that alcohol use is ok.
• Disapproval of underage drinking needs to be clearly and consistently conveyed to your teen and matched with positive role modelling.
• It is important that you monitor your teen’s behaviour and who they are with. “As parents, we have to keep a close eye on who they are with and where they are.”
• You shouldn’t assume that young people know all about alcohol or that they and their friends are all drinking or will drink or that they won’t listen to you.

Assumptions distort our perception of reality and impact the decisions we make. Assumptions can stop you having the conversation or underestimate the impact of having conversations with young people about alcohol.

In our findings, 80% of parents said they had a conversation with their child about alcohol. They talked about “How alcohol makes you feel when you drink it and how you feel after.” “Knowing the limits of your own body. Effects it has on behaviour.”  And “… why one should never drink and drive and the responsibilities that come with consuming alcohol.”

Parents thought the following should be discussed in conversations with young people:

• The effects of alcohol on the body
• The legal age to drink
• Healthy and unhealthy attitudes towards alcohol
• Peer pressure and alcohol
• Consent and alcohol
• Dispelling myths
• How it can affect others, not just the drinker
• How the body processes alcohol
• The law re drinking and driving
• Losing control/inhibitions

Parents were interested in finding out when and how to have the conversation with their children about alcohol. It is never too early or too late to start the conversation.

By talking to them at an early age you have a greater chance of influencing their decisions. You should tailor answers to their age and experience.

By having ongoing conversations with your child and role-modelling healthy behaviour, you are reducing the risks of harmful drinking now and later in life and giving your child the chance to develop resilience, cope with hurt and disappointment and celebrate achievements without the need for alcohol.

• Don’t make a big deal about the chat as it should be ongoing and happen when having a meal or when watching tv etc
• Don’t wait until your children are teens to have the conversation
• Encourage conversation with listening as well as talking
• Talk directly and answer questions honestly
• Find out what they know already
• Set clear expectations and explain clearly what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour around alcohol
• Explain the rules in place and negotiate consequences
• Chat about what their friends are doing and don’t criticise them but do criticise unacceptable behaviour
• Explain the risks and law regarding underage drinking
• Chat about healthy ways to deal with stress, coping, disappointment
• Practice refusal conversations with your child
• Respect your child’s growing independence
• Revisit the topic regularly

Alcohol should have no place in childhood and Drinkaware passionately believes that parents need to be supported with information, advice and tips for how to communicate and role model positive behaviours towards alcohol.

Drinkaware recently launched the ‘Talking Matters’ parent’s booklet which covers:

• How and when to talk to your child about alcohol,
• The risks of underage alcohol use,
• The importance of building resilience in young people,
• How you might respond to certain questions,
• The importance of prevention
• The law and alcohol in Ireland.

Order your copy 

To accompany the newly launched resource, Drinkaware will be facilitating workshops across the country for parents and webinars for online attendance, providing a safe and supportive space for parents to help the young people in their life remain alcohol-free.

For more information regarding workshops and webinars to support parents in having this conversation with the young person in their life email: martha@drinkaware.ie.

References: 

(1) Cairns, G., Purves, R., Bryce, S., McKell, J., Gordon, R. & Angus, K. (2011). Investigating the Effectiveness of Education in Relation to Alcohol: A Systematic Investigation of Critical Elements for Optimum Effectiveness of Promising Approaches and Delivery Methods in School and Family Linked Alcohol Education Alcohol Insight, 83.
(2) Behaviour & Attitudes (2016). Alcohol Education. Is it meeting the Needs of Junior Certificate Students? Dublin: Report Commissioned by Drinkaware.
(3) The Drinkaware Index (2019): Analysing Hazardous Drinking in Ireland. Dublin, Drinkaware
(4) Grant et al (1997) cited in Mongan et al (2007) Health Related Consequences of Problem Alcohol Use. Overview 6. Dublin. Health Research Board

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